Family mediation can provide a constructive way for people to resolve the practical, financial and parenting issues that arise when a relationship ends. Whether you are considering divorce, going through separation, or trying to agree child arrangements, mediation gives you an opportunity to discuss matters with the help of an impartial professional.
What is family mediation?
Family mediation is a process in which an independent, trained mediator helps separating couples or family members communicate and work towards agreements. The mediator does not make decisions for you. Instead, they help you identify the issues that need to be resolved, explore possible solutions and reach agreements that work for everyone involved.
Mediation can be used to address a wide range of issues following separation, including arrangements for children, finances, property, pensions and other financial matters.
The mediator is impartial
One of the most important principles of family mediation is impartiality. The mediator does not represent either person and cannot take sides.
Their role is to ensure that both people have an opportunity to explain what matters to them and to help keep discussions constructive. A mediator may challenge assumptions or encourage someone to consider a different perspective, but they do not decide who is right or wrong.
If either person needs independent legal advice, they can consult their own solicitor.
Mediation is voluntary
Family mediation is based on the principle that the people involved should make their own decisions. You are not required to agree to a particular proposal simply because it has been suggested during mediation.
Although there are circumstances where the court expects people to consider mediation before making an application, mediation itself remains a consensual process. Either person can decide not to continue.
You make the decisions
Unlike court proceedings, where a judge makes decisions for you, mediation allows you to remain in control of the outcome.
This can be particularly valuable when agreeing child arrangements. Parents can discuss what will work best for their children, taking account of their individual circumstances and practical considerations.
Similarly, when dealing with finances after divorce or separation, mediation allows you to explore different ways of dividing assets and meeting future financial needs.
Confidentiality
Discussions within family mediation are generally confidential. This is intended to create an environment in which both people can speak openly and explore possible solutions without feeling that every suggestion will subsequently be used against them.
There are important exceptions, particularly where there are concerns about safety or safeguarding.
Mediation is not about compromise at any cost
Successful mediation does not necessarily mean that both people get exactly half of everything or that each person has to make the same level of compromise.
The aim is to reach an informed and workable agreement that takes account of the circumstances of the family. The mediator can help the participants consider options, but each person remains responsible for deciding whether a proposed agreement is acceptable.
What happens at mediation?
The process usually begins with an initial meeting, often called a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM). This gives the mediator an opportunity to explain how mediation works and consider whether it is suitable.
If mediation is appropriate, further sessions can then take place. These may be joint meetings, or in some circumstances mediation may take place using separate rooms or remotely.
The number of sessions varies according to the complexity of the issues and how quickly the participants are able to reach agreement.
At the end of the process, agreements can be recorded in writing. Where appropriate, participants can then obtain independent legal advice about making the agreement legally binding.
A different way of resolving family disputes
Family mediation is not suitable for every situation. However, for many people experiencing divorce or separation, it can provide a less adversarial way of resolving disagreements.
The fundamental principle is simple: rather than asking someone else to decide what should happen, the people involved are given the opportunity to work together, with professional assistance, to find their own solutions.